What If This Were Enough?

Starred review from June 25, 2018
These incisive essays by New York magazine columnist Havrilesky (How to Be a Person in the World), some previously published in shorter versions, invite readers into the contradictions of upper-middle-class American life. She’s interested in “how we ingest and metabolize” the “broader poisons of our culture,” yet cannot “figure out why we’re sick.” She relates these poisons—endemic distraction; determinedly amoral entertainment; the dominance of corporate culture, as
represented by the ubiquity of Disney—with a combination of anger, dismay, and ambivalence. She calls out the hypocrisy of the “foodie movement,” with its self-congratulatory “heroic sheen,” for failing to prioritize making “healthy food more affordable to the poor.” Her social criticism is keen, but her best writing is personal. There’s a beautiful essay on being unable to extricate herself from a failing relationship, because “I was more at home with longing.” Her goal is to encourage readers to ask of themselves, as she asks herself amid Disneyland’s overcontrolled banality, “How did we get here? Who stood back and let this happen to our world?” She wants Americans to “wake up to the unbelievable gift of being alive,” even though it means facing anomie, despair, and all the scary emotions that are easier avoided. It’s a message she relates with insight, wit, and terrific prose.

July 1, 2018
A New York magazine columnist examines our current culture, which "exerts a constant pressure on us that severs our relationship to ourselves and each other."In her latest collection of essays, Havrilesky (How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life, 2016, etc.) questions the way in which our society has shaped individuals who too often look to others for self-definition, who develop an identity based on the financial means with which they can purchase experiences, and who take to the digital sphere to create new exacerbations of old cultural tropes. " 'What should I be doing right now?" is a question that feels more urgent than ever," writes the author. "Face-to-face, real-time connection to others feels fraught and awkward compared to the safe distance of digital communication. We maintain intimate virtual contact with strangers but seem increasingly isolated from our closest friends and family members." In fact, the world Havrilesky describes is systematically injured by new developments in the digital and communication realms, making even the smallest interaction unnatural, the vaguest thought superfluous, and the idea of ambition old-fashioned. Throughout these essays, some of which were previously published in different forms, the author looks at a variety of cultural reference points, including the BuzzFeed phenomenon, the hegemony of Hollywood films, and foodie culture, to provide a crucial analytical perspective on human interactions and on the future. "The past is reduced to a slide show," she writes. "The future is a YouTube video that won't load. And the present is a jumble of jaunty yellow buttons blurting 'omg' and 'awww' and 'tl;dr.' What else can we do but click through?" Though there seems to be no escape from the world Havrilesky paints for her readers, she makes a point of offering a line of inquiry through which they can develop their own perspectives on society today, carving out their own space in the process.A fun, often insightful read for digital fatalists.

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September 1, 2018
From our attention-grabbing smartphone screens to the endless treadmill of social-media demands, modern life is filled with constant injunctions to find more, do better, and get ahead. But in this quick-witted collection of essays, advice columnist Havrilesky pointedly asks whether it is possible to be satisfied without having everything our world of excess offers us. Can we ever say, she wonders, that what we have is simply enough. While she deploys a light touch to address certain topics, such as her dread regarding a family trip to Disneyland, there is always a sharp edge to her observations. Even a seemingly positive aspect of modern culture, the foodie movement, withers into an exclusionary and ecologically damaging pretension under her gaze. From the troubling messages contained in such pop-culture vehicles as Fifty Shades of Grey and Entourage to the ramifications of Trump's election, Havrilesky clearly defines the moral morass that surrounds us. In contrast, she presents some more personal stories about love and loss that tantalizingly offer a glimpse into a more grounded way of life, leavening the dark atmosphere with humor and hope.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2018, American Library Association.)